You know those moments when you feel as though you want to say something, but don’t know what. But deep inside your heart there is a longing for something.
This past weekend a dear friend of mine got married. It was a beautiful wedding, as theirs is also a beautiful love.
And I wondered when my turn would come. It’s a wide and arid desert, this journey as one, with no plus-one. I wondered how it would feel like, as I had forgotten how it is to be in a relationship by now. Besides, I don’t really regard most of the ‘relationships’ I’ve been in as valid. So, I prayed, but I didn’t know what to. Thus, I took to the Internet and asked Mr Google and Mr Facebook if they had pointers. Neither of them did, but in my heart was a voice showing me the way to what I want to share with you all today… What made my being single, this sacrament of waiting, feel that it’s now worth my while, until the right one comes along, or until I become the right girl for someone.
BE SATISFIED WITH ME
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But to a Christian, God says,
“No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with me.
Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.
I want you to have the best.
Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all.
Don’t be anxious, don’t worry
Don’t look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don’t look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to me,
Or you’ll miss what I want to show you.
And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me
And the life I’ve prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love
That exemplifies your relationship with me.
And this is perfect love.
And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union
Of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.
Know that I love you utterly.
For I am God. Believe it and be satisfied.
-St. Anthony of Padua